We learned today that our birth parents (so I guess there is a father…?) had “ID issues” and couldn’t complete their last interview and signing. They are rescheduled for Oct. 27th. I have to say, I don’t feel surprised or overly upset.
I think if my last few years have taught me anything, it’s the art of accepting reality and having realistic expectations. I am disappointed, but I have lived with a lot of disappointment. I have recovered from a lot of “downs” and this is no different. This little boy may or may not come home to us, and I am fully aware of this.
There are two primary concerns and only one of them is valid: a) that this little boy is healthy and receiving love and b) that I will move on from this stage of life sooner than later, before I fall into a deep abyss of depression and hopelessness. One is motivated by love. One is motivated by fear. Our fears rarely come true. Our love is always birthed by something greater than ourselves.
I will concentrate on love. I will work on minimizing my fear of the future unknowns. I will enjoy the moment and fight for balance. I will run toward consolation and run away from things that bring me desolation. This post is like a little prayer to myself – creating space – but I hope my readers can use this logic for whatever your struggles are today as well. Let’s continue to steal nectar today, despite the challenges!
Stealing Nectar 
I am sorry you are facing another delay, but I have to say you seem to be processing this delay with an amazing amount of grace and realism. I believe you are right when you say “our fears rarely come true” and so I hope you can hold onto the hope and love.
I really needed to read these words from you. Thank you for such a lovely perspective. Hoping so hard for you 🙂
You are amazing. I love the way you put this. It sounds like a scary process and I’m sorry you have to wait longer but I’m really glad that you are okay with it and able to process it. I hope you have exciting news soon! Xx
“Our fears rarely come true. Our love is always birthed by something greater than ourselves.” Yes, this. You have an amazing attitude about this delay. I’m sorry it happened, though, and I hope all goes super smoothly on 10/27. What is the process after the last interview and signing is complete? Hoping hard for you that there are no more delays!
Thank you. 🙂 After the signing, the file will bounce government offices and they should give us a referral in a few months. That means we can travel to meet him! Then we come back for one or two years (I know, it’s totally insane…I don’t know anyone who has taken less than a year at this point) while they finalize more things and get his visa, passport, etc., completed. I feel crazy most days (explaining our decision), but we know we want to go this route so there is little left to do!
Yes, as MPB says, the word that springs to mind is “grace”. Thank you for managing to share comforting words even when you’re scared. I hope that this is just turbulence on your little boy’s flight home to you. xx
“I will enjoy the moment and fight for balance.” As you live your life with intention each day, you do so with such grace and poise. You are inspirational. It’s so wonderful to see how many lives you are touching through your gift of writing… thank you for being vulnerable, sharing and reminding us all to steal a little nectar each day ❤