We learned today that our birth parents (so I guess there is a father…?) had “ID issues” and couldn’t complete their last interview and signing. They are rescheduled for Oct. 27th. I have to say, I don’t feel surprised or overly upset.
I think if my last few years have taught me anything, it’s the art of accepting reality and having realistic expectations. I am disappointed, but I have lived with a lot of disappointment. I have recovered from a lot of “downs” and this is no different. This little boy may or may not come home to us, and I am fully aware of this.
There are two primary concerns and only one of them is valid: a) that this little boy is healthy and receiving love and b) that I will move on from this stage of life sooner than later, before I fall into a deep abyss of depression and hopelessness. One is motivated by love. One is motivated by fear. Our fears rarely come true. Our love is always birthed by something greater than ourselves.
I will concentrate on love. I will work on minimizing my fear of the future unknowns. I will enjoy the moment and fight for balance. I will run toward consolation and run away from things that bring me desolation. This post is like a little prayer to myself – creating space – but I hope my readers can use this logic for whatever your struggles are today as well. Let’s continue to steal nectar today, despite the challenges!