Son Four

I have realized this blog was used primarily as therapy and I need it less right now. This didn’t become clear until I was busy living instead of working hard not to drown. So, with that acknowledgement of my absence in this space, I will proceed to give more details on my spoiler alert title…

Son Four is expected Valentine’s Day 2018! A biological, genetically healthy (as far as a simple blood test can show), baby boy…and this news almost makes me feel like an infertility and loss fake (almost). 

In a crazy turn of events, sometime after giving away all of my maternity clothes and stopping exclusively pumping because I had two deep freezers full of milk (which I don’t recommend to anyone – it was insanity), I suppose I felt enough like my own self to commit myself to the crazy process all over again. Adrian started sleeping through the night consistently, and almost simultaneously, I got pregnant again (when he was around 10 months old). 

I suppose the only way to explain it is that Adrian is more scrumptious than I ever could have imagined and, after our adoption agency got debarred last December, having another biological child actually seemed less uphill and maybe better for everyone being considered. After all, I have learned how complex adoption really is and that my current family dynamic might not be the ideal I thought it was for an adopted child. There is a lot more I could unpack there, but I am quite unqualified and will leave it to those with much more experience to have the voice on that.

So, stealing nectar is hardly necessary right now. The nectar flows from my life and the gratitude I have for it. I might get to give Adrian a brother at the end of this. I am working a little, but still get to be with Adrian almost every day. My family is healthy. Within five years, my life has plummeted to depths I couldn’t have imagined and now is resurfacing with a stronger, more grateful me with so much to look forward to in a short time…and much to hope for even further ahead.

18 thoughts on “Son Four

    • Awww, thank you!!! I need to catch up on your blog…I haven’t been on here in forever! I really appreciate your kind wishes and I hope your life is amazing too. Lord knows we each had a couple of rough years for sure! So much love to you too!

  1. Oh wow! I am so so happy for you. This is brilliant news and you deserve all this happiness. I really hope the next few months go smoothly and you don’t feel too anxious. I have everything crossed for you and look forward to reading your updates over the coming months 🙂

    I also need to do a blog update. Unbelievably I’ve actually got similar news (spoiler alert: I’m a week behind you! I don’t want to hijack your blog, but thought it may look a little odd if I then put up a post sharing the same news).

    x x x

    • Wow! Congratulations!!!! How fantastic! I am so happy for you!!!! I am feeling a lot calmer than I should. Hopefully that continues along with health for all of us. The last few days he’s been kicking for the first time, so that’s so reassuring. I just passed A.G.’s gestational time, too (well, I am in the week I was in the hospital trying to give birth to him), so it’s nice to be ticking off those days…although I don’t have an appt for another couple of weeks, so that will be when I really feel out of the woods for my loss history at least. I hope you are staying calm and enjoying this pregnancy! Really, so happy for you!

      • Thank you 🙂

        Oh wow, that’s so exciting that you have felt some kicks! That is a very good sign 🙂 I am also pleased you have passed such a traumatic milestone. Good luck keeping the nerves at bay until your next appointment x

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