It’s been a while since I have posted about the adoption, so this may be a bit of a dry post, but I wanted to give you all an update. It’s officially been 2.5 years in process and, by the end of August, our dossier will have been registered in Haiti for over 2 years. We have never received an official referral in that time. We’ve watched friends lose multiple matches, and others even lose the lives of their sometimes legal children while they wait for the rest of the paperwork to be finalized so they can come to the U.S. To state what probably seems obvious, this process hasn’t gone according to anybody’s plan. It’s been a test of patience, incredibly sad, and harrowing. Because of all of this and Zika concerns, we have decided to put the adoption on hold.
We have told our agency that we’d like our paperwork held until December. This means it will stay in its place, but no one will be working on a match for us for the next several months. We will decide at that time whether a) we need more time to bond and breastfeed our biological son, holding our paperwork for longer, b) if we will ask them to proceed forward with the adoption, or c) if we will drop out of the program in favor of a different international program or even a pursuit of a domestic adoption.
The other thing is, as we were originally promised the Haitian program was getting more stable, we have not experienced this to be the case at all. Haiti, as a country, seems to have more political unrest all the time and one of my Haitian friends even believes they may be headed toward a civil war. The next few months of waiting will let us also assess the safety of moving forward with this specific adoption path.
As this pregnancy has progressed and I have been able to believe in the viability of this Son Three a little bit more, it has become clear that we need to give him the same love and care we’d like to give any other child we will parent. Bonding time is important, as many of my reader friends have previously suggested, and we are feeling really secure in this decision to put the adoption on hold for now and concentrate on this first child home (Son Three).