Where Does the Light Come From?

Illuminated. Illumination. When I lost my job, deflation, restlessness, and confusion was abound. To realize I was not valued indefinitely. Ego. Check. I no longer was illuminated professionally. Did I reflect the light of my job, my title…or did the light come from within? In other words, do I still have it? Do I despair? Do I explore if I actually miss working for men whom may or may not have let me go because two months ago, after six and half years of noteworthy work and sacrifices, I confided in them that I might be thinking of having a family soon (when they all have no less than two kids each with wives whom stay at home)? Do I tell my parents? Do I tell my husband’s parents? Is it a sign of weakness if I don’t tell them? The severity of the secret seems to be somewhere between not telling them I am a drug addict (I actually am not) and not telling them I sharted in my pants very publicly at a work function (I actually didn’t do that either, thank God!).

Do you know what I did do though? The morning after the bomb fell, I made it my mission to save the pair of jeans that got shrunk in the dryer passed the point of return (which is the point directly following being able to wear them without creating a muffin top). I thought, well, I haven’t eaten in 16 hours because my stomach feels like it has gasoline and fertilizer in it after hearing the unfortunate employment news, so…I have nothing going on today…maybe I should rescue my jeans. I am a doer. I get things done. I like to have goals. I’m a little closer to fitting into them now than I was 24 hours ago or last week and, don’t they deserve another chance? Too many good things in this world are getting discarded one way or another…

I’m sure you are ecstatic to hear they live on to hopefully have another 4+ years of glory with me.

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